Significance
by Elysynn
Summary: Post Twilight events from the moments immediately after the episode ending as seen through the eyes of someone in Autopsy. Spoilers for Twilight


_Author's Note: This is my first fan fiction posting ever. I am announcing this not to beg for mercy or plead for a gentle touch. I am announcing this because the episode this work relates to was so powerful to me that it inspired me to join the ranks so to speak. I personally loved the episode "Twilight". There were a great number of nuances to the episode that are a credit to the writers. Though I am sad at seeing Sasha leave, I am excited to see what the next season will bring,_

_Disclaimer: Don't own 'em - no money being made here. (jedi hand sweep) This is not the author you seek..._

I watched the phone's handset slip through his fingers. The usually composed, yet verbose doctor was struck silent. I knew something bad had happened, something utterly terrible. The look on his face was not a look of detached sorrow on the announcement that the team's effort had failed and the missile had struck the pier. No, this was a very personal sorrow. I knew that someone on the team had been lost.

I was about to open my mouth, to ask what had happened. I couldn't bring myself to do it. It seemed that to do so, to hear what I dreaded to hear announced would make it final. I knew it was irrational, but it felt that if no one said it aloud we could all wake up from the nightmare. I picked up the phone whose abrasive tones were announcing the line was disconnected. It was the only sound in the room at that moment. I cringed as I settled the handset back into the cradle. Then, I just stared at Ducky, I could think of nothing else to do.

Suddenly I thought of Abby. I knew that she knew what had happened. She was in communication with the team, she had to have been on the radio when it happened. "Ducky," I said quietly, "we should see to Abby."

My statement seemed to startle him. He looked at me out of grief, the pain in his eyes so evident. "Oh, Palmer, I'm sorry. Indeed, we should."

His eyes began tearing up and I steeled myself for what was coming next. I really didn't want to know. I didn't want to be reminded that they were mortal, that I could see them next as a "subject" and not a co-worker, a friend.

He must have seen the distress in my own eyes as he patted my arm in a fatherly way. He swallowed hard. He tilted his head back and tried to blink back the tears. Then, just like ripping off a band-aid to shorten the duration of pain he said it. "We just lost Kate."

He said it. It was final. I wasn't prepared for the emotions that came crashing down in that instant. I was sad. But what surprised me was the pain I was feeling for everyone else on the team. I may be a little naive, but contrary to what Ducky and Gibbs may think I am not dense. I knew what Kate had meant. I knew her significance to the team. She was a sister, a daughter, a friend and a conscience. I blinked back my own tears that suddenly had appeared.

I swallowed and repeated, "We should see to Abby."

Word spreads faster than light when an agent goes down. The doors to the elevator opened to an eerily silent bullpen. Heads turned and looked at us as we stepped out. Desperate hope that it was all a mistake was written on their faces. Eyes were downcast, heads turned away as Ducky and I stepped out onto the floor. Their hopes were dashed - we were not Kate.

It's no great secret that my people skills suck. It's part of the reason I chose the profession I did - I didn't have to worry about my bedside manner. People make me nervous, and when I get nervous I get clumsy. It's hard to apologize to someone whose knee you just bruised testing their reflexes. Shiatsu was my saving grace. Without it I couldn't have passed med school. It had turned out to be my saving grace with Abby as well. Though I would hardly dare call us friends, at least she no longer rolls her eyes at me every time I deliver something to her lab.

Abby is an enigma to me. I wasn't sure what to expect walking through the door to her lab. On one hand I expected to see black mascara streaking down her cheeks while she sobbed in her grief. On the other, I expected to see no tears at all, just a stony countenance poetic in its melancholy. What Ducky and I were met with was somewhere in between. Her tears were not running rampant, and her heavy eye make-up was well under control considering the circumstances. Her expression summed up what I think we were all feeling; we didn't know just how to react.

For a few moments, the three of us just stood there staring at each other. Only the sounds of Abby's lab equipment broke the silence. I glanced up at the clock. It was only three minutes after the call. In the silence those moments had stretched to hours. Abby followed my gaze and watched several seconds tick by.

"Seven minutes ago, I thought it was McGee," she whispered, "Six minutes ago - I thought it was Kate. And then I heard her voice..."

Ducky looked at me with a bit of alarm in his eyes before she continued, "She was shot at "point-blank range", but apparently her vest caught the round."

Her eyes snapped around and she peered at me with great intensity. "Would you believe that Tony was actually giving her a compliment?" She emphasized her sentence with a pointed finger jab to my chest. Then she placed the hand on her forehead, "I thought the radio gave out. She was asking Tony that very thing, and halfway through the question her voice stopped. BAM!"

We jumped.

"There was silence. Five minutes ago, I knew Kate had died." She strode over to Ducky and grasped his shoulders. He was looking at her with a mix of grief and concern. I think he feared as I did that Abby was not quite right. "Ducky, Gibbs said that it was Ari..."

Ari is a name spoken very carefully around this office. I wasn't here the day he took NCIS hostage. I had only heard rumors, stories. The cold fury that shut out all the warmth of Dr. Mallard was all the confirmation I needed to the truth of those rumors. Ari was not a well liked individual. Now? Well, if the man wasn't dead already I had a feeling he soon would be. I was actually beginning to dread the moment when Gibbs, DiNozzo and McGee walked into NCIS.

My short introspection was brought to a grinding halt by Abby's trembling query, "Ducky, why Kate?"

Ducky wrapped Abby into his arms, and patted the back of her head much in the same way as he had my arm. "Oh, Abigail," he sighed.

It was a little awkward watching them comfort each other. I took solace in my right shoe instead. It wasn't that the display was anything to be ashamed of - it was just out of my league. Ducky and Abby had worked together for several years and had developed a broad comfort level with each other. I, on the other hand was the newest guy on the block. I was the first replacement from Ari's handiwork. That thought made me shudder.

There was no one that could replace Kate. I glanced at the clock. Eight minutes since the phone call. I couldn't imagine a replacement. Kate was special to this team. She was its conscience. Gibbs was more human around her. She was the only person I knew who could ground DiNozzo. I tore my gaze from my shoe to look at Abby. I spoke my first words since entering the lab, "Abby, what about Tony?"

I could see the realization dawn on both Abby and Ducky's faces. Tony and Kate shared a strange and indescribable bond. Of everyone, we knew that Tony was going to be hit the hardest.


End file.
